Here we go, la la la learning everything the hard way….
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Seems to be the story of my life at times, being delivered a crippling problem out of the blue back in 2000 I struggled through finding a diagnosis based on the symptoms I was experiencing. I was 100% trusting the medical community to lead me out of the muddy water back to that sunny shore of feeling awesome.
What happened was a very different story, it was a 13 year culmination of doctor appointments, specialists, pills, tests, bloodwork, xrays, surgeries and unanswered questions.
It took an eye opening, rude and unprofessional dismissal from the last saviour I trusted to open my eyes that there is no white knight in a white coat who is going to come whisk me away and fix me.
That fairy tale came to a screeching halt!
After I got done crying and being very angry at him I could now write him a letter and thank him.
I was forced to take matters into my own hands and know that if I am going to get better and find good health again I have more to do with it that a doctor does.
We expect them to uphold an oath that says “first do no harm” but we are in our daily lives making the decisions, our doctor is not. Why are we not taking the same oath and saying “first do no harm to myself”?
Long ago I admittedly did abusive things to my body like smoking, drinking, fast food, not getting enough sleep….most of us have been down this road. It is not one I am proud of, so many time I think about the squandering of youth and energy on total crap, if I could go back wiser, oh my the damage I would do!
The biggest step I took in 2013 was to take charge of my own health and realize my doctor is a person, he does a job and is there to support me, he is not a magical figure who is waving the happy wand over my head to fix me.
I found a good piece of advice which was to look up my condition in the good old Merck Manual, yep that’s the one medical professionals use. Doctors use this to diagnose and medicate, it is a plethera of information and is available online.
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I don’t want his job, I investigate so that I understand his perspectives and I can partner with him to find what will aid me. I can research and look to the therapies I am comfortable with avoiding the ones I am not. We can have a dialouge about my health instead of me feeling like the powerless one who must just do what he says.
One of the best moves I made was to see out purity in my food, eating organic and moving away from GMO’s and preservatives. My son and husband have been along for the ride and the biggest thing I can see in them is the sugar cravings have stopped. We are all healthier than we were overall, don’t misunderstand I am still fighting a disease that threatens me daily, but I know that my body is sitting up and listening where before it was just plain sick, my cells were sick and screaming at me, I looked like death warmed over.
We eat whole meals, prepared with love and honor. Yes it takes time to do this and yes it is a commitment but one that is just as important to me as the mortgage payment to keep the roof over our heads.
I may not get rid of my disease but I can get so healthy that it quiets into remission. In my eyes essentially I have told it to sit down and shut up because this is my body not yours!
I get up each day and give myself a fighting chance, if I did anything less I’d be ashamed.