It’s spring and as the weather changes we drift into the patch to play in our dirt and connect with the sun and fresh air. As a farmer seeds are always on my brain. I have written in another post or two about how the ime spent weeding and working through soil have been some of my most contemplative with God.
So this past weekend in the garden it was so, and pulling weeds I am reminded of how many doozys were in my heart, big things I sowed long ago by mistake that became giant super weeds. It seems difficulty, even some that carry from childhood, can create problems that poison our lives, problems that have deep roots that we don’t even realize took ahold in us. I speak alot on my own life so I challenged myself to do some research on people I know of and my search was random, I chose Amy Winehouse and Dorothea Lange. Two very different woman, One spark shared by many.
Amy joined the 27 club, a group of bright individuals, brilliant artists, intelligent humans that died at the age of 27 when their sparkle fades. Some comon threads they share are they were often misfits in their own minds, often bullied, ones that rebelled and went their own direction. Many times post mortem they are considered icons of our time, these tragic, wild child people who silently seek the approval of others.
Sadly Amy, despite her fame had a low self esteem due to her childhood traumas as a result of divorce and abandonment, in her teens being classified as bi-polar. She had clear gifts, was super talented and dreamt of using her gifts. However, by age 20 although she wanted a home and “normal life”, ended up living with issues from alcohol in abuse that gave birth to other addictions that became the morbid fascination of society. She was honest about killing her pain with substances and her music contained her tears, her blood, her guts. A volatile steamy relationship resulted in abuse and self harm that reached a deep level of depravity. In the end the poison worked, she was terribly exploited, self hate does that, in 2008 she was quotes as saying, “I didn’t want all this, I just wanted to make music with my friends. Incredibly sad.
maglie calcio poco prezzo
Dorothea on the other had her own trauma, born in 1895 when life was very hard, she got polio that resulted in a limp, and as a young girl the family was abandoned by the father. Dorothea had this spark, she had vision, she saw a beautiful world and was courageous. In regard to her limp, she was told to “walk as well as you can” and she accepted life gracefully. She saw the upside, her outlook was 50/50, what I see her is constant hope and humility and “Pollyanna”.
Dorothea understood her gift, her perfection was seen in reflection, her theory was, “Beauty is seen when one feels deeply”. She loved photographs, but not just any. In 1933 soup-lines pulled her to the street, she said, “I challenged myself, if I’d go down there just to see if I could grab a hunk of lightning.” In doing that she photographed the discrepancy between her classy studio and the street. She saw possibility in mended silk stockings and soup kitchens. Snap, snap, the pictures are breathtaking. To this she commented that when instinct takes over self is annihilated. Indeed dear lady.
She changed history, she lived her life, made mistakes, rose from ashes and the Dust Bowl. She put eyes to current events, human suffering and brought up questions that needed to be answered. She learned to be unseen and blended in to capture timeless visual note taking captured in American Exodus, a book of pictures she published. Dorothea was a peacemaker driven to her gift and she was challenged and responded staying true despite fame to the core essence of her gift, her sense of awe and wonder. Until her death at age 70 when her last words were, “Isn’t it a miracle, it comes at the right time.”
1 Peter 1:24 For,“All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall.
But the seed when it begins has potential to flourish but only if we nourish. Do you see it? Today is the day, can you feel it?
What if we stop and choose to fully embrace everything, yes I said everything, forgive everything, but don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. We can catch the things we can change. Human seeds are a big topic on my tounge, as this “Marla seed” grew, it had alot branches that needed to be pruned but were neglected, others that would have produced fruit yet were left to wither and waste, noone to blame but the circumstances. We can get lost amid them, they can totally derail us, life is not lived it is problem management and pain.
It was my spirituality that saved me, I carried it around and made it wear different hats but when I knew my spirit was broken and far off track, I just knew. Amid so much judgement about my illness and people making visual assumptions I seriously was ready to crawl into a hole and die. I understand the spotlight slightly, I was a nice bank manager, I was known and people discussed things. It was humiliating to me and ate holes in my ego. Falling down publically sucks. But seeds carefully sowed in me by the travelers in my life lay dormant, they needed a gardener.
Well, one came along, one who sowed with love, aid, care and compassion, relentless love that pursued me, love from one whose seeds were in full bloom. Seeds planted by another sower named Herb, he planted many seeds, but not all were tended, he was my father. Today in his death, I know him better and love Him more, he was a disciple maker.
But for a moment, lets talk the seeds, the soil, the gardener.
Let’s just take today, me as a wife and mom, what am I tending? Hearts, several hearts, more love is my motto. But really can we all consider our contribution to the grand human garden, you don’t need to be anyone special to have gifts, ask yourself what you are passionate about and be honest. Then pray and ask God to teach you to use your time, your treasure and your talent for the good of your fellow man.
We are living in epic times, the world has never been so angry and filled with fear. So many bright people want peace but none achieve a lasting movement. Popularity is vicious like that, the faces change. But Jesus of Nazareth, now there is a man who has lasted and lasted, he never changes and when I see him listed on Biography online’s list of people who promoted world peace I want to yell loudly. Is this what the world knows of Him, the Risen Saviour who was crucified for his love of others, not someone who hung himself on his own rope. Peace Warrior, no, Creator and lover of all, yes. Not created, He is Holy.
I am doing to begin to talk more on this, I don’t think we understand Jesus at all. Jesus is the gardener in my soul, I fought desperately for truth, almost got lost in it but was found. Thank you Heavenly Father. The book of John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Then in John 8:32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Seeds will be planted as I pray for you reader, that the soil is ready, the hearts are open, we are all cultivating and reaping a harvest of good and vbelssings for others, love for our fellow man. I think it is time to talk about the seeds and be very, very honest about the harvest. Interviews with the parents of the 27 club would be my 1st choice but that is not feasible.
I can make many comparisons to the “club” but did not die at 27, but I have deep spiritual roots that seemed to hold onto me. Can I explain it all, how I escaped death numerous times? No, I canonly see the gifts were left unused and the purpose was not fulfilled, that is all that I need to know. Does it make me look at today as an opportunity to change the world? You bet it does.
“Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can’t be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
You got to do what you should
With each other
But we’re not the same
We get to
Carry each other”
More love today, it starts now.
More love and blessings than ever,