17 Jun

Farmhouse Lemon Pudding


I happen to love lemons, I put one whole lemon in my green juice daily. My peels go into a jar with white vinegar to create my power cleaner, literally degreases everything. I let mine marinate for about a month. My gluten free, toxin free life also led me to pudding, lemon pudding that was a hit. I took a picture of my evening snack the other night and posted it to Facebook and the recipe was requested so I am obliging.

My kitchen evolved to one that cooks  with fresh things from our farm and local farmers who have animals that I do not, namely a milk cow but I want one. Just need the strength and energy to keep up with one and I don’t have it right now.

I recently found I have Hashimoto’s Thyroid on top of RA and Lyme and was instructed right away to go gluten free. I need to lean towards the Wahl’s Diet for autoimmune function as well as one gentle on my damaged gut that still struggles to heal. I am creating my own recipes in hopes that some of you with the same problems find ideas, I am always starving for them! I need new things to eat, I am a foodie that lives in this prison, not kidding. I am the gal who joked I could live on baked good and coffee, I love them both that much.

Sometimes I find a recipe that works, a new thing, I try not to duplicate the things I miss, I pretend they died. I have had decedence and loved many chocolate things and fondly recall our relationship but it is over.

On this recipe I am going to try honey next as the sweetener, I will keep you all posted. I used only about 1/4 cup sugar in mine, I steerr from too much, bad stuff but we do have to live. the land of complete deprivation is hell, I won’t lie to you..

That said, enter pudding. I can have pudding. Now so can you!

Much love,


Farmhouse Lemon Pudding
You will need a double boiler , nesting bowls and a fine mesh bag or sieve
  • 3 large fresh pastured egg yolks
  • ½ cup organic sugar
  • 3 tbsp. cornstarch or arrowroot
  • ¼ tsp. kosher salt
  • 2 cups, fresh raw milk
  • ½ cup lemon juice (fresh is best)
  • 2 tbsp, softened organic butter
  • Soft whipped cream
  • Fresh organic berry sauce
  1. Start a 2 qt double boiler, water in the bottom bring to a soft bill. Meanwhile whisk the egg yolks in a bowl and set aside. Whisk top of double boiler add sugar, cornstarch, and salt, add a little milk to make a paste then stir in the rest of the milk slowly. Whisk until it thickens and simmers, allow for 2 minutes scraping often.
  2. Remove top of boiler and take 1 cup of milk mixture and add to egg yolks. Mix well then add to top of boiler with remaining milk mix. Put back over heat and simmer again until it thickens, wisking very slowly to consistency of sour cream. Remove and add in lemon juice.
  3. You can strain in fine mesh to remove the liquids.
  4. In nesting bowls, make an ice water bath for the pudding to rest in, don't slosh water over the sides until it cools, stir gently if needed.
  5. Pour into individual bowls or single dish, cover the surface with saran wrap pressing against the pudding. (keeps from forming skin)
  6. Top it off with berry sauce and whipped cream~ enjoy


P.S. Here is a link to an awesome article about lemons too!


04 May

Duck, duck, duck…Goose!

Afternoon trips to the barn often result in playful behavior from this 46 year old student of life. Yes, it is true, the discipline of living with illness and balancing it with a sustainable life requires sustenance and hearty laughs are a gift from God. The soul bouncing about in mirth. When was the last time you employed reckless abandon and just followed your heart for 20 minutes? What began as chores evolved into a pail of corn and a “let’s see” attitude and the happiest 20 minutes of my day.
Since Stella died Fred the duck is lost, he doesn’t know who to hang with, turkeys too big, the chickens only care about the next piece of food and cannot commit to anything and the guinea hens are neurotic and loud.
I was luring him kernel by kernel to see if he’d dip his webby toes but instead the brave ones are the guineas, only one or two bold hens wanted to get close. They pecked the rest of the corn and I was left to sit in the grass in the spotty sun peeking through the trees and whisper, “Father,today is busy and hard but my heart is heavy, I need you.
Palms turning open I breathe, my Abba Father, I belong to you, my Abba, my Father I belong to you and breathe in the warm, sweet air, feeling such love all around me, inside of me, consuming me. I take for granted I am sure how beneficial my letters to the Father are, I began to write to Him every day and it became a relationship that has consumed all of me.

That is today, but I have been in Fred’s spot, I get it. ..the misfit, the outcast, the one left out.
What about humans, when we reach the place where society fails you, there is none speaking your language and you can’t find a friend. Where do you go? Churches and bars have codes, Wal Mart is scary and counseling is expensive.

Me, I  dug deep,  I asked the hard questions and today I’d love to share my perspective, thank you all readers, my freinds, for taking the time to read it.
Piumini Moncler
We need a call to rouse the collective conscience about what is a human and why are we here. Humans have forgotten that the “Common Good” is the same as the Will of God. God wants what is best for all of us and for the universe as a whole. There was no conflict between what Jesus wanted and what God wanted, that is true freedom. As human beings in nature we belong to the greater community of all living beings, what if we all got along?
Science cannot tell us everything and the mystery of our universe is one of a mind boggling unity or oneness; yet for as smart as we are we miss it by a mile.
We’ve never been more connected yet we are all Fred the duck isolated by our differences and  individualities, we all hold things we are ashamed of that lead us to belief systems about God and ourselves.
Reading about the Civil Rights movement this morning really was eye opening to me about where we are as people. Martin Luther King was a preacher man, when he spoke it rumbled from his gut, he was a man convicted about humanity in God’s eyes. He spoke of things like content of character and emotional acceptance and those words are echoing today in my ears. Racism is a horrible human crime and we won’t solve it by becoming racists, which I see today.
I scroll facebook and watch the same hate spinning as there was back them then, only now the entire planet of humans is involved. We have lost touch with our spirits and one can see by the behavior that it is so. You cannot replace the One True God with anything and expect to find results, every single religion out there has a some means to an end, Jesus Christ doesn’t harp on that though, he is all about Love.
The greatest commandment was to love, combining the love of God with love of neighbor. See Matthew 22: 35-40 There is an indissoluble unity here. We cannot ever play God against man, backpedal to Matthew 5: 23-24, that goes farther to say before we approach the Lord we must be reconciled with our brothers. This creates the law of Humankind.

Because of this every encounter with another is and encounter with the Lord. We are given time in our lives to grow and the success of our lives will be measured by how delicately and sensitively we have loved. Yet, as human we are often narrow in mind, cold, haughty, unforgiving and judgmental are we not booting God off of the throne?  Me-thinks yes.
Motives are unseen and none can read them, but suspicions are the biggest problem we have and on most of them we are wrong. How many times have we seen this in recent news?

We are told not to judge in Matthew 7:1;  then we are told if we do judge others the same measure used on them is used on us in Matthew 7:23. God has blessed us with speech, do we bless or do we curse others? Build it up or tear it down, the spirit is hard thing to repair, please be kind, be colorblind.

It is a compete tragedy that our attention is on what people are not rather than what they are and what they can become, as families dissolve this is so crippling.

We are surrounded by need, it sleeps in our streets, it is in daycares, orphanages, nursing homes, schools and in our daily lives, the people we interact with at home, work and play.
The truest test of our faith is how we interact with each other every day.
I leave you with 2 things, St Francis of Assisi’s prayer for us all to say, let’s ask the Father to create our hearts as His.
And lastly the wisdom of Sesame Street, it is okay to be different actually it is cool. Ask Fred, he is learning one day at a time like the rest of us. You are it…go!

Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred, let me bring your love
Where there is injury, your pardon;Lord
Where there is doubt, true faith in you;
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there’s despair in life,let me bring hope;
Where there is darkness, only light;
And where there’s sadness, ever joy.

Oh, Master grant that I never seek
So much to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved as to love with all my soul

Make me a channel of your peace
It’s in pardoning that we are pardoned;
In giving to all men that we receive;
And in dying that we’re born to eternal life.

Blessings to you and prayers that you find peace, each of you.

God bless you,




28 Apr

Sowing the Seeds of Love



It’s spring and as the weather changes we drift into the patch to play in our dirt and connect with the sun and fresh air. As a farmer seeds are always on my brain. I have written in another post or two about how the ime spent weeding and working through soil have been some of my most contemplative with God.

So this past weekend in the garden it was so, and pulling weeds I am reminded of how many doozys were in my heart, big things I sowed long ago by mistake that became giant super weeds. It seems difficulty, even some that carry from childhood, can create problems that poison our lives, problems that have deep roots that we don’t even realize took ahold in us. I speak alot on my own life so I challenged myself to do some research on people I know of and my search was random, I chose Amy Winehouse and Dorothea Lange. Two very different woman, One spark shared by many.

Amy joined the 27 club, a group of bright individuals, brilliant artists, intelligent humans that died at the age of 27 when their sparkle fades. Some comon threads they share are they were often misfits in their own minds, often bullied, ones that rebelled and went their own direction. Many times post mortem they are considered icons of our time, these tragic, wild child people who silently seek the approval of others.

Sadly Amy, despite her fame had a low self esteem due to her childhood traumas as a result of divorce and abandonment, in her teens being classified as bi-polar. She had clear gifts, was super talented and dreamt of using her gifts. However, by age 20 although she wanted a home and “normal life”, ended up living with issues from alcohol in abuse that gave birth to other addictions that became the morbid fascination of society. She was honest about killing her pain with substances and her music contained her tears, her blood, her guts. A volatile steamy relationship resulted in abuse and self harm that reached a deep level of depravity. In the end the poison worked, she was terribly exploited, self hate does that, in 2008 she was quotes as saying, “I didn’t want all this, I just wanted to make music with my friends.  Incredibly sad.
maglie calcio poco prezzo
Dorothea on the other had her own trauma, born in 1895 when life was very hard, she got polio that resulted in a  limp, and as a young girl the family was abandoned by the father. Dorothea had this spark, she had vision, she saw a beautiful world and was courageous. In regard to her limp, she was told to “walk as well as you can”  and she accepted life gracefully. She saw the upside, her outlook was 50/50, what I see her is constant hope and humility and “Pollyanna”.

Dorothea understood her gift, her perfection was seen in reflection, her theory was, “Beauty is seen when one feels deeply”. She loved photographs, but not just any. In 1933 soup-lines pulled her to the street, she said, “I challenged myself, if I’d go down there just to see if I could grab a hunk of lightning.” In doing that she photographed the discrepancy between her classy studio and the street. She saw possibility in mended silk stockings and soup kitchens. Snap, snap, the pictures are breathtaking. To this she commented that when instinct takes over self is annihilated. Indeed dear lady.

She changed history, she lived her life, made mistakes, rose from ashes and the Dust Bowl. She put eyes to current events, human suffering and brought up questions that needed to be answered. She learned to be unseen and blended in to capture timeless visual note taking captured in American Exodus, a book of pictures she published. Dorothea was a peacemaker driven to her gift and she was challenged and responded staying true despite fame to the core essence of her gift, her sense of awe and wonder.  Until her death at age 70 when her last words were, “Isn’t it a miracle, it comes at the right time.”

1 Peter 1:24 For,“All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall.

But the seed when it begins has potential to flourish but only if we nourish. Do you see it? Today is the day, can you feel it? 

What if we stop and choose to fully embrace everything, yes I said everything, forgive everything, but don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. We can catch the things we can change. Human seeds are a big topic on my tounge, as this “Marla seed” grew, it had alot branches that needed to be pruned but were neglected, others that would have produced fruit yet were left to wither and waste, noone to blame but the circumstances. We can get lost amid them, they can totally derail us, life is not lived it is problem management and pain.

It was my spirituality that saved me, I carried it around and made it wear different hats but when I knew my spirit was broken and far off track, I just knew. Amid so much judgement about my illness and people making visual assumptions I seriously was ready to crawl into a hole and die. I understand the spotlight slightly, I was a nice bank manager, I was known and people discussed things. It was humiliating to me and ate holes in my ego. Falling down publically sucks. But seeds carefully sowed in me by the travelers in my life lay dormant, they needed a gardener.

Well, one came along, one who sowed with love, aid, care and compassion, relentless love that pursued me, love from one whose seeds were in full bloom. Seeds planted by another sower named Herb, he planted many seeds, but not all were tended, he was my father. Today in his death, I know him better and love Him more, he was a disciple maker.

But for a moment, lets talk the seeds, the soil, the gardener.

Let’s just take today, me as a wife and mom, what am I tending? Hearts, several hearts, more love is my motto. But really can we all consider our contribution to the grand human garden, you don’t need to be anyone special to have gifts, ask yourself what you are passionate about and be honest. Then pray and ask God to teach you to use your time, your treasure and your talent for the good of your fellow man.

We are living in epic times, the world has never been so angry and filled with fear. So many bright people want peace but none achieve a lasting movement. Popularity is vicious like that, the faces change. But Jesus of Nazareth, now there is a man who has lasted and lasted, he never changes and when I see him listed on Biography online’s list of people who promoted world peace I want to yell loudly.  Is this what the world knows of Him, the Risen Saviour who was crucified for his love of others, not someone who hung himself on his own rope. Peace Warrior, no,  Creator and lover of all, yes. Not created, He is Holy.

I am doing to begin to talk more on this, I don’t think we understand Jesus at all. Jesus is the gardener in my soul, I fought desperately for truth, almost got lost in it but was found. Thank you Heavenly Father. The book of John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Then in John 8:32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Seeds will be planted as I pray for you reader, that the soil is ready, the hearts are open, we are all cultivating and reaping a harvest of good and vbelssings for others, love for our fellow man. I think it is time to talk about the seeds and be very, very honest about the harvest. Interviews with the parents of the 27 club would be my 1st choice but that is not feasible. 

I can make many comparisons to the “club”  but did not die at 27, but I have deep spiritual roots that seemed to hold onto me. Can I explain it all, how I escaped death numerous times? No, I canonly see the gifts were left unused and the purpose was not fulfilled, that is all that I need to know. Does it make me look at today as an opportunity to change the world? You bet it does.

“Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can’t be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
One life
But we’re not the same
We get to
Carry each other”

More love today, it starts now.

More love and blessings than ever,



23 Apr

The Division Bell

division bell


The Division Bell, the Pink Floyd Tour I actually made it to. A fan since the “Wall” which so many of us in the 80’s educational system identified with. The machine that put kids on the assembly line and ran them into a chopper, grotesque but think of it as our spirits, not far off.  It was resistance with an awesome soundtrack.

The bigger bell of division has rung, the one I ring daily. The separation of being a Follower of Jesus or being Religious. In Biblical times there were the Pharisees and Sadducees, I did my homework, I won’t bore you with the details of these past groups but know that we are odd hybrids of them both. Spiritually they were divided, one belived the spiritual realm and one did not, one was the religious group and the other the self sufficency group.  They were on opposite sides up until this Nazarene preaching love and peace showed up and his teachings threatened their heirarchy of power with major social repercussions.

Jesus challenged human beings to be more, to live uprightly, be beyond reproach, to be alert, self controlled (that would go very far), to love and share and care, so why was he such a big threat that they had to crucify him? Oh wait, he was suggesting a humble, peaceful, loving culture and that stops the big money racket that feed the hierarchy, okay, I get it. Jesus taught us love, he sought harmony and hearts that believed and loved the Father as he did. He revealed the Father time and time again, in 3 years he and his message were supposedly dead, but evil will never wins, God does so the story continues with each of us.

Since the inception of religion in the 17th century that separated religion from science terrible  damage has been done to the development of the human spirit. A narrow view was adopted that named mysticism a psychological phenomena, now classifying any non-rational world views into a catch all of religious weirdness. I see this many times directed at those involved in the street preaching and spiritual events they bring others into.
maglia calcio poco prezzo
Initally I too was skeptical, I watched the documentary Holy Spirit a few times, I had to really pray before I wrote  about it. The undeniable factor in this is the love for Jesus in these men and the desire to reveal His love to the needy and the lost. It is seen in their faces yet I see churches attacking them. At least they are trying, not sitting in pews thinking, “thank you God I am not one of them” To the general non believing public this is a joke, if we cannot all agree on God then what?

At some point man being driven by the spirit of religion began to speak for Jesus. If the Bible tells us not to rely on the word of man and the spirit of religion then why do we seek reconciliation and fulfillment there?  God has become something else in todays world, not the Just Father with Unlimited Love and Patience. Ephesians 3:12 says “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.”

That does not require other human beings to go with you. I can tell you when I retreat to be alone with God I find vitality and power that is not of this world, I don’t want people, I want to hear His voice. God’s word is called a mirror in the book of James, it is called soap and water to  wash with in Ephesians and the Psalms call God’s word spiritual milk and honey. It is true we must reflect, be washed and fed, God loves us so much.

The spirit of religion lives in church, and  by their fruit you will know them. There is no rule, regulation, fee or dress code with God. Churches should be hospitals for the spiritually sick yet they remain socially divided, rendering them unable to administer care. I fear that many in the world do not even know the call of the Father’s voice. We go about feeling bad about ourselves and feeling unforgiven under the mask of “church” with smiles. I only know because I lived this defeating ritual, it made me run in the other direction.

I feel that we forget all good things come from God. We lose our gratefulness to Him and when this occures our attitude changes. Life becomes boring drudgery and management of problems, one struggle after another, we become negative and cynical under the abuses heaped upon us. We no longer realize God’s love for us, our belief is gone. We then harden, becoming cynical to suffering killing the spirit of humble gratitude that God wants us to posess.

Religion is beating the human spirit to death, the book of Colossions frees us from the divisions of religious festivals and religious rules saying that they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence or better said, our desires. The New Testement is chock full of instruction to live as Jesus instructed, all require reflection and discipline but that can be a good thing, right?  The disciples risked everything to continue His message.

The message that Satan is using the spirit of religion to silence  and diminish.

John 4:23 But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

Courageous soul, seek your truth today, I can breadcrumb the path but I cannot lead you. This world is Satans playground and he delights in tempting and confusing humans. Pick up a Bible and read Psalm 139, it is my centering verse.

It gets clearer day by day, the road opens before me and my life has become a living prayer.  I pray for all who find this message today. What you see on the news is not our reality. Please stay with me. I awoke this morning and heard it clearly, “explain me” that was all, thank you Jesus.

“Father, I seek no gain, only to prepare hearts to revieve you.” Amen

He stands at the door and knocks, but he cannot touch the doorknob, that is your job.

Much love,