28 Apr

Sowing the Seeds of Love



It’s spring and as the weather changes we drift into the patch to play in our dirt and connect with the sun and fresh air. As a farmer seeds are always on my brain. I have written in another post or two about how the ime spent weeding and working through soil have been some of my most contemplative with God.

So this past weekend in the garden it was so, and pulling weeds I am reminded of how many doozys were in my heart, big things I sowed long ago by mistake that became giant super weeds. It seems difficulty, even some that carry from childhood, can create problems that poison our lives, problems that have deep roots that we don’t even realize took ahold in us. I speak alot on my own life so I challenged myself to do some research on people I know of and my search was random, I chose Amy Winehouse and Dorothea Lange. Two very different woman, One spark shared by many.

Amy joined the 27 club, a group of bright individuals, brilliant artists, intelligent humans that died at the age of 27 when their sparkle fades. Some comon threads they share are they were often misfits in their own minds, often bullied, ones that rebelled and went their own direction. Many times post mortem they are considered icons of our time, these tragic, wild child people who silently seek the approval of others.

Sadly Amy, despite her fame had a low self esteem due to her childhood traumas as a result of divorce and abandonment, in her teens being classified as bi-polar. She had clear gifts, was super talented and dreamt of using her gifts. However, by age 20 although she wanted a home and “normal life”, ended up living with issues from alcohol in abuse that gave birth to other addictions that became the morbid fascination of society. She was honest about killing her pain with substances and her music contained her tears, her blood, her guts. A volatile steamy relationship resulted in abuse and self harm that reached a deep level of depravity. In the end the poison worked, she was terribly exploited, self hate does that, in 2008 she was quotes as saying, “I didn’t want all this, I just wanted to make music with my friends.  Incredibly sad.
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Dorothea on the other had her own trauma, born in 1895 when life was very hard, she got polio that resulted in a  limp, and as a young girl the family was abandoned by the father. Dorothea had this spark, she had vision, she saw a beautiful world and was courageous. In regard to her limp, she was told to “walk as well as you can”  and she accepted life gracefully. She saw the upside, her outlook was 50/50, what I see her is constant hope and humility and “Pollyanna”.

Dorothea understood her gift, her perfection was seen in reflection, her theory was, “Beauty is seen when one feels deeply”. She loved photographs, but not just any. In 1933 soup-lines pulled her to the street, she said, “I challenged myself, if I’d go down there just to see if I could grab a hunk of lightning.” In doing that she photographed the discrepancy between her classy studio and the street. She saw possibility in mended silk stockings and soup kitchens. Snap, snap, the pictures are breathtaking. To this she commented that when instinct takes over self is annihilated. Indeed dear lady.

She changed history, she lived her life, made mistakes, rose from ashes and the Dust Bowl. She put eyes to current events, human suffering and brought up questions that needed to be answered. She learned to be unseen and blended in to capture timeless visual note taking captured in American Exodus, a book of pictures she published. Dorothea was a peacemaker driven to her gift and she was challenged and responded staying true despite fame to the core essence of her gift, her sense of awe and wonder.  Until her death at age 70 when her last words were, “Isn’t it a miracle, it comes at the right time.”

1 Peter 1:24 For,“All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall.

But the seed when it begins has potential to flourish but only if we nourish. Do you see it? Today is the day, can you feel it? 

What if we stop and choose to fully embrace everything, yes I said everything, forgive everything, but don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. We can catch the things we can change. Human seeds are a big topic on my tounge, as this “Marla seed” grew, it had alot branches that needed to be pruned but were neglected, others that would have produced fruit yet were left to wither and waste, noone to blame but the circumstances. We can get lost amid them, they can totally derail us, life is not lived it is problem management and pain.

It was my spirituality that saved me, I carried it around and made it wear different hats but when I knew my spirit was broken and far off track, I just knew. Amid so much judgement about my illness and people making visual assumptions I seriously was ready to crawl into a hole and die. I understand the spotlight slightly, I was a nice bank manager, I was known and people discussed things. It was humiliating to me and ate holes in my ego. Falling down publically sucks. But seeds carefully sowed in me by the travelers in my life lay dormant, they needed a gardener.

Well, one came along, one who sowed with love, aid, care and compassion, relentless love that pursued me, love from one whose seeds were in full bloom. Seeds planted by another sower named Herb, he planted many seeds, but not all were tended, he was my father. Today in his death, I know him better and love Him more, he was a disciple maker.

But for a moment, lets talk the seeds, the soil, the gardener.

Let’s just take today, me as a wife and mom, what am I tending? Hearts, several hearts, more love is my motto. But really can we all consider our contribution to the grand human garden, you don’t need to be anyone special to have gifts, ask yourself what you are passionate about and be honest. Then pray and ask God to teach you to use your time, your treasure and your talent for the good of your fellow man.

We are living in epic times, the world has never been so angry and filled with fear. So many bright people want peace but none achieve a lasting movement. Popularity is vicious like that, the faces change. But Jesus of Nazareth, now there is a man who has lasted and lasted, he never changes and when I see him listed on Biography online’s list of people who promoted world peace I want to yell loudly.  Is this what the world knows of Him, the Risen Saviour who was crucified for his love of others, not someone who hung himself on his own rope. Peace Warrior, no,  Creator and lover of all, yes. Not created, He is Holy.

I am doing to begin to talk more on this, I don’t think we understand Jesus at all. Jesus is the gardener in my soul, I fought desperately for truth, almost got lost in it but was found. Thank you Heavenly Father. The book of John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Then in John 8:32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Seeds will be planted as I pray for you reader, that the soil is ready, the hearts are open, we are all cultivating and reaping a harvest of good and vbelssings for others, love for our fellow man. I think it is time to talk about the seeds and be very, very honest about the harvest. Interviews with the parents of the 27 club would be my 1st choice but that is not feasible. 

I can make many comparisons to the “club”  but did not die at 27, but I have deep spiritual roots that seemed to hold onto me. Can I explain it all, how I escaped death numerous times? No, I canonly see the gifts were left unused and the purpose was not fulfilled, that is all that I need to know. Does it make me look at today as an opportunity to change the world? You bet it does.

“Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can’t be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
One life
But we’re not the same
We get to
Carry each other”

More love today, it starts now.

More love and blessings than ever,



25 Apr

Pilgrimage to the Truth


Divinity, Oneness, Ohm…..Pilgrim, wandering free what is it you seek? I had an Ohm symbol tattooed on my back at my root chakra. I sought Peace for my weary soul and wanted the world to know, It does.

Our quest begins at conception, 2 souls come together, the ultimate mystery is set into motion and life begins with a new soul. We all start that way, from eggs, this years hatching eggs here on the farm brought me to some scalp scratching and God began to speak to me.

So much of our spirit is rooted in beliefs, I have shared the fact that I was fed religious beliefs and the pilgrim in me choked on the hypocrisy and continued on, seeking truth has no compromises. My belief system has learning for a long time, there is far more unseen than seen and we only know pieces of the mystery, like the egg we cannot see the progress yet we remain certain of it.

Faith, Hope and Love, these three Remain, is part of a verse in the Bible but in these 7 words there is wisdom and I can show you why I feel this way. I have watched religion attack anything  mystical  and poison the water. It is the Salem Witch trials all over again except now it’s the Evangelicals against the New Agers, give me a break, Jesus would give us a parable about that I am sure.

Personally, my spirit felt completely lost in this world where is the root? Where is the truth!  As a spiritual person, when God began to be  realized in my life, the truth of Jesus Christ’s life and teachings, essentially the Gospel began to allow me to overcome the belief system that was generated  during my search. My unending quest to beat my way past the thorns and dragons on the way to the Kingdom.
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I read the Tao and the Wisdom of the Tao and found things taught me more than school ever did.  I followed the Thrive movement and they seem to have it all nailed down except it lacked a heart, I am sorry Mr Foster but I cannot follow another human being into a contrived belief system. True pilgrims chart their course and go alone.  I lived aware the past 46 years and know of Jim Jones, David Koresh and Heavens Gate, their “game” contrived human minds. There is no way to see the heart of a man, a tree is known by it’s fruit, as are we. Case in point, we must seek the fruit of  our teachers.

I found a verse  which prompted my search, 1st John 5:5 “Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God”. We can believe in Jesus, but I must be also willing to say the Bible is the book given to teach us about God and I must consider it all to be fair. This is a belief that guarantees eternal life when we abide in our faith, we need to have confidence and surrender to the outcomes predicted. Belief is a choice of free will.

I’ve learned that “Obsession without certainty is slavery” and I truly belive this is so. Former certainties I had to let go of plunged me into the dark night yet I continued to seek union with the One True God fearlessly, I may be a sinner but I am not a wimp. Be strong fellow travelers, let go of all practices for a moment, cultural, spiritual and religious and  to quote Van Morrison….magnificently we will flow into the mystic.

Jesus was a martyred mystic. His belief in God as the Father and unexplainable parables that shredded laws had to be silenced with such force so that it is never heard of again, a massacre of his image and human body contrived by humans ego and love of power.

Meister Eckhart is another mystic whose words get tossed about by Oprah Winfrey, so I researched not his life  but his beliefs. I found that Eckhart sought henosis (greek word for Oneness), he was a  Neoplatonist. Let’s investigate…

Neoplatanists were philosophers seeking “oneness” through Theurgy. Theurgy is the process of using rituals to invoke the presence of the gods to reach the divine, the perfect self. Theurgy is a form of Monism which is the belief of One God. (Monad) means, divinity or one being, sought individually, dedicating life to making relations with created world and other humans better. Pantheism believes the Universe is divinity. It was popularized by Spinoza and Descartes and later by Sagan, a dualist theory that body and mind are separate. Panentheism is a belief system that posists (postualte or axiom which is a premise of the start point of reason) means “all in God” the Universe and God are One.  Axiom is a greek verb meaning to balance, worthy, proper and they based this view on axiom which oddly is never even used in math due to being considered nonsensical. An axiom was to “deem among philosophers a claim which could be seen without proof”.

This was established in the early 1900’s by none but Alister Crowley who believed that the twentieth century marked humanity’s entry to the Aeon of Horus, a new era in which humans would take increasing control of their destiny by use of magick conforming human will. Although his teachings were a direct  controversy of the Bible, Mr Crowley refused the title of Satanist, was addicted to heroin, acknowledged God and the Devil and was an advocate of young male children as human sacrafice. Ozzy Osbourne wanted to inverview him and get inside his head, no thank you, I’ll pass.

Thelemic magick is a system of physical, mental, and spiritual exercises which practitioners believe are of benefit. A man named  Francois Rabelais, a writer, doctor, satirist and monk who saw a humanistic of life, in his Abbey of The’le’me   he wrote, ” All their life was spent not in laws, statutes, or rules, but according to their own free will and pleasure. They rose out of their beds when they thought good; they did eat, drink, labour, sleep, when they had a mind to it and were disposed for it. None did awake them, none did offer to constrain them to eat, drink, nor to do any other thing; for so had Gargantua established it. In all their rule and strictest tie of their order there was but this one clause to be observed.”  Productive or non-productive way of life?

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. Proverbs 13:4

He was unrespected by the acedemic elite who suspended his works. He was deemed by a write of the National archives as a militant anti-Christian atheist, his works never meant for consumption yet Mr Crowley used this piece of fiction as his blueprint for his writings about this “book of law” as he called it.

  Where is this all going?  In the Middle Ages Neoplataism was integrated into the philosophical and theological works of many of the most important influencers of Islam, Christianity Muslim and Jewish thinking. The founder of Neoplatism was a convert from christianity to paganism in 3rd Century AD, he renounced Salvation and advocated philosophical contemplation.

Adding Thelema and all of these “isms” to the mix that is Christianity today certainly disrupts the teachings of Jesus about God’s will. Over the years the water has become muddier and muddier each person flavored by the one before him. Isn’t philosophy simply thoughts contrived of a human beings? Everything I have spoken of in this article influenced so many still taught and quoted today, Spinoza, Marx, Goethe, Descartes, Einstein and many more. Humans have been taken down a garden poaths with our thinking minds, no wonder we were told to pray for wisdom and discernment. 

I have employed some of these writers in the past, I feel quite betrayed now that I understand the true roots of religion whenther it say it is of the light or the dark. Absent of Jesus is not taking you anywhere but to the crazy train with the Oz man.

They just keep killing Jesus over and over, why does Jesus remain the most influential human to ever live despite the maligning of His message? Could it be Divinity? This comes down to logical and non logical. The Bible has staying power that noone can explain, but I will try. Goodness trumps evil, period.  Not one of these dudes can top Jesus, the formula of the Gospel is the only one that brings enlightenment and fulfillment,  sorry fellas, your philosiphies hold no water.

If I told you that I experience God what would you say? He is real, He is not in me, but his Holy Presence speaks to me, his only Son died so that I could be closer to God, God is closer than I ever knew. He is not the planet but he created it and all on it, in it and around it. I have searched and searched all over the place for the truth. I have had chakras read, meditated, channeled,  tripped, shroomed and seanced but nothing trumps the place where you come face to face with the OneTrue God. I needed no explanation or rationale to find him, I opened my heart and mind and called His name. The rest is beautiful history and I walk in the Light.

All of this stuff aside of the Bible, is wishful thinking on mens parts because they tried to explain the unexplainable with theory and philosophy. I can theorize until the cows come home but that doesn’t make me right.  My message is human not perfect but I prayed for the words today to show who God is. Our hearts are real, the spirit we cannot see, but lets liken it to the black box in an airplane. From the time oyour soul was put into your body the ping has been going off, calling you back to the love that created you. 

So consumer, pilgrim, please use the 3 monkeys policy, and pray for discernment.

Can we explain Corrie Ten Boom’s Bible surviving a concentration camp? Can we explain the miracles that happen every day that the news says are “feel good stories”? No, Science needs to shut up and embrace mystery in my opinion. Our counter intelligence to our inherent human purpose will do us in. Love of self and opposition to God, is Ego.  What do you store for Heaven? Earth junk stays here. Unload, God will back the uhaul up and say, dump it the sin right here. But kill it before you dump it, one cannot serve 2 masters, we cannot put it away alive, there is no looking back.

Graceless sinners we are, come to me all who are heavy laden and I, Jesus will you give rest.  Come without condition.

You find this situation just a bit uncomfortable
You’d rather stay far away from reality
For you to understand would be clearly impossible
So you shut your eyes and swear you can see-lyric by Ginny Owens

Much love, Marla

“He that lives in sin, and looks for happiness hereafter, is like him that soweth cockle and thinks to fill his barn with wheat or barley.”
― John Bunyan, The Pilgrim’s Progress





23 Apr

The Division Bell

division bell


The Division Bell, the Pink Floyd Tour I actually made it to. A fan since the “Wall” which so many of us in the 80’s educational system identified with. The machine that put kids on the assembly line and ran them into a chopper, grotesque but think of it as our spirits, not far off.  It was resistance with an awesome soundtrack.

The bigger bell of division has rung, the one I ring daily. The separation of being a Follower of Jesus or being Religious. In Biblical times there were the Pharisees and Sadducees, I did my homework, I won’t bore you with the details of these past groups but know that we are odd hybrids of them both. Spiritually they were divided, one belived the spiritual realm and one did not, one was the religious group and the other the self sufficency group.  They were on opposite sides up until this Nazarene preaching love and peace showed up and his teachings threatened their heirarchy of power with major social repercussions.

Jesus challenged human beings to be more, to live uprightly, be beyond reproach, to be alert, self controlled (that would go very far), to love and share and care, so why was he such a big threat that they had to crucify him? Oh wait, he was suggesting a humble, peaceful, loving culture and that stops the big money racket that feed the hierarchy, okay, I get it. Jesus taught us love, he sought harmony and hearts that believed and loved the Father as he did. He revealed the Father time and time again, in 3 years he and his message were supposedly dead, but evil will never wins, God does so the story continues with each of us.

Since the inception of religion in the 17th century that separated religion from science terrible  damage has been done to the development of the human spirit. A narrow view was adopted that named mysticism a psychological phenomena, now classifying any non-rational world views into a catch all of religious weirdness. I see this many times directed at those involved in the street preaching and spiritual events they bring others into.
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Initally I too was skeptical, I watched the documentary Holy Spirit a few times, I had to really pray before I wrote  about it. The undeniable factor in this is the love for Jesus in these men and the desire to reveal His love to the needy and the lost. It is seen in their faces yet I see churches attacking them. At least they are trying, not sitting in pews thinking, “thank you God I am not one of them” To the general non believing public this is a joke, if we cannot all agree on God then what?

At some point man being driven by the spirit of religion began to speak for Jesus. If the Bible tells us not to rely on the word of man and the spirit of religion then why do we seek reconciliation and fulfillment there?  God has become something else in todays world, not the Just Father with Unlimited Love and Patience. Ephesians 3:12 says “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.”

That does not require other human beings to go with you. I can tell you when I retreat to be alone with God I find vitality and power that is not of this world, I don’t want people, I want to hear His voice. God’s word is called a mirror in the book of James, it is called soap and water to  wash with in Ephesians and the Psalms call God’s word spiritual milk and honey. It is true we must reflect, be washed and fed, God loves us so much.

The spirit of religion lives in church, and  by their fruit you will know them. There is no rule, regulation, fee or dress code with God. Churches should be hospitals for the spiritually sick yet they remain socially divided, rendering them unable to administer care. I fear that many in the world do not even know the call of the Father’s voice. We go about feeling bad about ourselves and feeling unforgiven under the mask of “church” with smiles. I only know because I lived this defeating ritual, it made me run in the other direction.

I feel that we forget all good things come from God. We lose our gratefulness to Him and when this occures our attitude changes. Life becomes boring drudgery and management of problems, one struggle after another, we become negative and cynical under the abuses heaped upon us. We no longer realize God’s love for us, our belief is gone. We then harden, becoming cynical to suffering killing the spirit of humble gratitude that God wants us to posess.

Religion is beating the human spirit to death, the book of Colossions frees us from the divisions of religious festivals and religious rules saying that they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence or better said, our desires. The New Testement is chock full of instruction to live as Jesus instructed, all require reflection and discipline but that can be a good thing, right?  The disciples risked everything to continue His message.

The message that Satan is using the spirit of religion to silence  and diminish.

John 4:23 But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

Courageous soul, seek your truth today, I can breadcrumb the path but I cannot lead you. This world is Satans playground and he delights in tempting and confusing humans. Pick up a Bible and read Psalm 139, it is my centering verse.

It gets clearer day by day, the road opens before me and my life has become a living prayer.  I pray for all who find this message today. What you see on the news is not our reality. Please stay with me. I awoke this morning and heard it clearly, “explain me” that was all, thank you Jesus.

“Father, I seek no gain, only to prepare hearts to revieve you.” Amen

He stands at the door and knocks, but he cannot touch the doorknob, that is your job.

Much love,



21 Apr

I Scream, You Scream…Ice Cream

The man I married can eat ice cream like nobody’s business. He fondly recollects entire pails of chocolate marshmallow and shared spoons with Pop and his brothers. So when I lost my job, I could no longer afford 3 half gallons of Breyers a week in my budget so I recreated it, it lacked, he suffered in silence. But now that things have evened out and I have grocery money I have perfected it, at least for our tastes.

I share my recipe because I worry for people over what is in food, I learned this the hard way,  and my job as God’s steward is to care for others. The Grocery manufacturers association in combination with brands that began as household staples our moms used have become GMO loaded toxic products that resemble food but do not nourish the body. There is much said on social media and news about becoming a watchdog for your family, living in this world requires an education. They changed things and did not educate us, but farther down the road we can see it was not a good idea, I feel betrayed.

The elimination diet that I underwent recently proved to me that we are driven by desire. The Bible says not to become a slave to it and even speaks of needing to be controlled by bit and bridle, we were given discerning minds and strong spirits, seek the truth, even in your food. I orayed that God would help me seek what noursihes me and am staying focused on the pijnt of decision, my choices are mine, I own them, I can stand firm and resist tempation too. My call, I live with my consequences, I felt I can change this. Nuff said.

We are consumers, via ear, eye and mouth, we become what we consume, think about it.


That said I have re-created my kitchen out of necessity, I was not willing to do without so I figured it out. That is what we courageous souls do isn’t it? Well I’ve found this ice cream is soul food. Yum, it makes me happy, hence, I share with you my loves.
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Be happy consumers and go in peace, love and sprinkles.

Much love and many hugs,


The attachment for Kitchenaid is what I use, I cannot guarantee same results in another. I also use basic ingredients, this should not be hard.

Consumer alert* Also I use raw eggs, I have never had an issue, use your own discretion. 

Find one here: http://www.amazon.com/KitchenAid-KICA0WH-Quart-Cream-Attachment/dp/B0002IES80/ref=sr_1_1?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1429627250&sr=1-1&keywords=ice+cream+maker

Homestead Essentials Ice Cream

In KitchenAid stainless bowl, crack 4 fresh eggs, use whisk and whip for 5 minutes until egg becomes foamy, add 4 tsp. pure vanilla,  1/2 tsp salt and 1/4 to 1/2 cup organic sugar

note*  I limit sugar so I use 1/4 cup in mine but you can increase to your liking up to 1/2 cup.

Allow this to blend well and continue to thicken, one more minute.

To make chocolate add 1/4 cup of chocolate paste (recipe below)- to make vanilla just carry on without. If you make chocolate, make paste 1st to allow it time to cool.

I get Stonyfield Heavy Cream, about $3.60 at the grocery store for 1 pint.



I use 2 well shaken pints in this recipe which I add to the bowl on slower speed to incorporate the cream. The cream always is thick and stuck on the bottom  so I add a splash of milk to each cream container and shake again then pour into bowl. note * not too much or it will get too thin, it should be foamy like the eggs were.


Remove the bowl and place the freezer and attachments on the base. note * for best results  freezer should be kept in deep freeze for 72 hours prior to use.

Start the mixer so that the paddle turns in the empty bowl. Slowly pour the cream mix into the moving paddle in the bowl, be deliberate and careful, then just allow it to go round and round…depending on the seasons and temperature of the kitchen this time varies. I allow at least 1/2 hour and stay close, it clicks and makes noise when it thickens.


Remove promptly when thick and freeze. Enjoy!

Chocolate Paste for ice cream

1/3 cup filtered water

1/3 cup cacao or cocoa powder

1/4 tsp real salt

1/3 cup sugar (I use 2 tbsp in mine but I reduce all my sugar, and have sucessfully used honey in this)

In small pan on medium heat, stir well to incorporate, bring to slow boil for only 1 minute and whisk, it will thicken up nicely. note *Do not over thicken. Allow to cool before using in recipe.